Of Cabbages and Kings

May 2, 2007

She calls out to the man on the street

Filed under: Personal — Chinmayi @ 4:52 pm

In an hour it will be midnight. I am exhausted. The text on the screen is blurring, my back hurts, my shirt smells stale and I rub my eyes every few minutes. But it is finally over and I can go home. As I rise from my corner, in which I had crouched silently over my computer all day, he spots me.

Swoop. He is standing over me like a vulture. I am crouching again in my chair because I know that this is going to be a boxing-match conversation and I don’ t have the energy to stand and think at the same time. His eyes are pink like white lab rat’s eyes, and they slant just a little. “Why are you going home alone?”, he demands. Part of me wants to scream childishly, I’ve worked so hard and I just want to go home. Leave me alone! “Would you put yourself in danger simply because you don’t want to ask for a ride home?”, he demands, his tone more aggressive, his voice a little louder. I would rather die than depend on people all my life, I think, but you’ll never understand so I’ll never say it. Just let me be.

He drives me back home finally. He is resentful because I would neither argue nor cower like a little girl. I would only thank him for the ride. Fortunately for us, I am old enough to resist the urge to tell him that it is none of his business, and to think that his bullying is kindly meant. Unfortunately for us, he is old enough to guess that when I let him drop me home, I am indulging him and not agreeing with him, and I am old enough to resent a world that compels me to  accept the kindness forced  on me instead of telling it to go to hell like I’d really like to.


1 Comment »

  1. i love this song

    Comment by hridyesh — March 19, 2009 @ 6:01 am

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